Burden
by Moonbeam88
Summary: After the camping incident Rin is ignored and shunned. This leads to him falling into deep depression and then suicide. This is just a one-shot and probably not the best since I am a new author.


I'm not as dumb as everyone thinks I am. Like being reckless and not paying attention in class? It's an act I normally make sure that I'll be the only one to get hurt badly if at all. By now I don't even remember when the act started. After the camping trip everyone was afraid of me, rightfully so. When I stepped into the classroom it would go silent, everyone watching me with fear in there eyes. It hurt so much to finally have friends then to have them suddenly ripped from you. Yukio had gotten colder to which hurt. To add to that the kids in the regular had started to bully me after noticing my ears and teeth. It started with just calling him names like demon and freak and avoiding him which they kinda did already. Then it escalated to where after school sometimes they would beat me up. I would let them knowing I was on a tight leash and Mephisto would be mad if I beat up other students. Also sometimes I felt like I deserved it since so many people had been hurt because of me like dad. They don't realize how hard it is to control my demonic nature and the flames. The urge to run free, being able to kill and let my flames loose. The only one who would talk to me about it would be Kuro and he doesn't understand what I mean so it never really helps to talk to him. Recently I started to cut when the mental pain would become too much. I also threw myself into my studies to avoid letting my thoughts run rampant and because I had nothing else to do. My social life is nonexistent so my voice is now hoarse and weak from disuse. I find myself reading the books from different classes that Yukio gave to pass the time. The only time Yukio and me talk is if I don't understand something from school or it's related to my studying. Though since I have so much free time I can work on my control over my flames. I'm getting close to having complete control over them. I think that Shura either knows or is pretty sure I'm depressed and she probably thinks I used to cut. Used to cut because my demon healing either leaves no scars or extremely faded ones that look a few years old. The only good thing about this is I've been able to start lowering my act bit by bit and now I'm one of the top students which seems to make Yukio extremely happy. I don't really care how well I do in school now I really just want to make at least one friend but, if doing well in school makes Yukio happy then I will. After all a older brother supposed to make sure the younger is happy right.

I've started to wonder how long I'll last before I do something extreme like suicide. I'm sinking into even deeper into depression and no one really seems to cares. I am all alone and it hurts _so _much. I've been cutting deeper to see just how much my body could stand and to silence the voices in my head yelling that I'm a burden and worthless.

He walked into class and everyone voice quieted. Mewa and Sheimi eyed him fearfully, Suguro watching him with disgust, Kimiki ignoring his existence altogether. He quickly went to his seat that was now near the back of the room. He wished that he was training with Shura today because he felt his heart break a little more each time they ignored him. He could hear whisper that he was demon that needs to be killed or worthless and a danger to everyone. He wished that he just disappear to a place where he had at least one friend that he could confine in. When class finished he quickly left so that he didn't have to hear them talking about him. Suicide was starting to sound better and better that this went on. He didn't want to waste Shiro's sacrifice but he couldn't handle being treated like dirt.

One week later

Rin stared at the slashes on his wrist watching them heal. He felt something in his mind break and he decided he couldn't live like this is this could be called living. He quickly grabbed a piece of paper and pen and went up to one of his favorite places, the roof. Writing a note saying that he was sorry for doing to this him but he couldn't live like this anymore. Unsheathing his sword he stared at the blue flames that surrounded him feeling immense hatred towards them and himself for possessing the flames and being a demon. He slashed at his stomach with Kurikira and clawed at his arms with his claws. The pain he felt physically was barely anything to what he was feeling emotionally. His demon healing struggled to heal him but his heartbeat was slowing down rapidly. A few minutes later Rin Okumura was dead and free of his suffering.

* * *

Yukio-

Shura has no right to lecture me on how I treat my _own _brother and I think I would notice if he was depressed or had cut! Honestly does she think I don't care about him. He's my twin of course I care! Though maybe I should talk to Rin a bit...

Yukio opened their dorm room he looked over to Rin's bed. Finding it odd that he wasn't in the dorm he went to look for him up on the roof. When he got closer to the roof he started smell blood, panicking he hurried up to the roof and froze at the sight that awaited him. Rin laid near the edge of the roof coated in blood and with gashes on his stomach and scratches on his arms, legs everywhere. He hurried over to where Rin was trying to comprehend what he was seeing. Noticing a note near Rin he picked it up trying to find a reason for why his brother would do this.

_Yukio I'm sorry to leave you alone like this but I can't stand it anymore. I'm just a worthless demon that's a burden to everyone. During regular school I'm bullied and the I go to cram school and everyone hates me. It's so hard to finally find friends then to have them ripped away from you. Sorry Yukio and goodbye._

Yukio dropped to the ground clutching at his brothers body sobbing with the note clenched in his hand. Coming out of his shock enough to text Shura. Texting come to my dorm quick Rin killed himself.

* * *

Shura-

How could that four-eyed chicken not see that Rin is depressed! It's plain as day and so are the scars! This calls for a drink. I was probably on my 4 or 5 when my phone beeped. Noticing it was Yukio I wondered what the four-eyed chicken wanted, reading the text my eyes widened in shock. I knew Rin was depressed but I didn't think he would go this far! I quickly hurried to their dorm checking their dorm and seeing they weren't there I hurried to the roof. I froze at the scene ahead of me, Yukio has clutching at Rin's body which had multiple gashes and scratches both of their bodies were coated in blood. I hurried over to Yukio and he thrust a piece of paper into my hands. Reading it I felt offended and sad, offended that Rin wouldn't confide in me and sad because he felt he was a worthless demon and burden. Falling next to Yukio I mourned the boy who had to carry such a burden and was shunned because of it.

A week later the funeral took place. Of course all the Ex-Wires felt guilty after hearing what Rin did. The Cram School became quiet and somber. It would take months until it became anything close to how it used to be but none of them ever forgot him.

**This is just a one-shot I wrote while trying to finish the first chapter of Almost An Angel, if anyone wnats to continue it they are welcomed to but please let me know that you do. Also I don't own Blue Exorcist/Ao No Exorcist **


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